wow. so this is what its like to update....

Hey kass well you seem to be the only one that reads this thing. I'm so bored in dunedin. im at the desparate for a job stage not financially but more for sanity reasons. wee financially too but meh.

My 25th...
six weeks away.
crap!!
So I want to do something fun like a spa day or something. bubbles and facials. but all is dependant on dosh, but i have a few jobs to look into tomorrow. numeric data entry. funny thing is im kinda excited by it. cruisy work, listening to mp3's and earning dosh.

easter i may be back up too. phils going to rock to wellington with the boys. GRRRR totally wanted to go but dont want to with the potential messyness of drunkeness. oh well. its not like i can afford $400 for two nights entertainment either.

I miss you. and have decided that you must come and see us in the new year. It will be good.. mmmmhmmmmmm.

oh well im probably going to call you any minute now to discuss visiting tomorrow.
loves.

P.s.
update will increase when we get the interwebs. :)

Home sweet home.

Hey kass.. well you are the only one that reads my blog really.
Man, these hills in Dunedin are kicking my butt, literally. kinda good but painfull at the same time. please excuse the lack of grammer as I'm at a net cafe with a shitty keyboard and yeah.
So I'm back this weekend to go to Phil's workmate andrews wedding. should be interesting. Shes a super duper christian and he's born again. hmmmm. one wedding, two churches. fun fun funnnn.

Work wise, well Im busy applying like crazy in the hope that i'll get something soon. urgently. eeep.

oh well better go. love you lots and see you friday night. fun times! :P

Its an update.... Aren't you just dying of shock!

Okay. You all have to watch "waiting" Its a fucking awesome movie with Ryan Renolds in it (By the way how the hell did Alanis end up with his hot piece of arse as a husband??? She must be good at... ummm 'humming'). Im not going to tell you what happens, but its good, and will make you go "ugggh","errrrm :S" laugh so hard you pee and it give you the true feel for the restraunt business.

Okay so We ALL know my lil sister Mel is a theiving whore.
I called the cops on her arse.
*insert applause*
They cant do anything as it is classed as a "domestic disturbance involving a minor, that lives in the home"
*insert sighs and grumbles*
So I am moving the fuck out again.
I was packing my shit up *again* and the cow gets in the shower. I thought hmmm... Im-a-gunna get all my shit out that bitches room, go thru her Supre bag (she doesnt leave this out of her sight ever) so it was a chance not to sneeze at! Once again My $60 foundation, 3 of my good makeup brushes($140 worth), A $35 eyeshadow, a $30 lipgloss, a $30 eye pencil, my $40 makeup purse, a $30 Mascara aaand A strip of my BIRTH CONTROL PILLS and 16 CONDOMS out of my drawer.
$365+ WORTH OF MY STUFF!!!
needless to say Im fucking pissed at this bitch. And if I dont leave I will end up losing the fucking plot at her, so much so that I would probably get arrested!

Anyway. Im getiing out of this shit hole, and saving my sanity!!

Love you kassy.

updatey.

So this is how 2007 has begun. Dad went to see nana on wednesday(3rd) and found her dead on the kitchen floor. Long story short she had been dead since Jan 1st pm. A heart attack. Yay for an attentive fucking family. Oh and my apparently single father (this is what he informed us kids) had he obituary written as follows:

Colleen Mary- Peacefully, at home in Lincoln, on January 3 2007, loved wife of Barney, loved mother and mother-in-law of Robin and Hilary, Catherine and Graham, Bernard and Donna-Marie, Mark and Margaret and Antony Wroe, Loved Nana of Christina, Sara and Melissa; Paul and Daniel; Courtney and Simon;Morgan and Megan, Great nana of madaline, former mother inlaw of Vickie and Loved sister and sister in law of paul and mary smith, and the late mark smith....etc....

Peacefully, Yeah fucking right!!!!! Heart attack people... alone!!!!!!!
January 3 2007 This is cover my lazy familys arses. they assumed because she wasnt answering her phone that she was out on a trip and hadnt told them. *coughs* yeah right. shes in her late 70's, YOU MAKE THE EFFORT TO CHECK ON HER!!!
mother-in-law of Robin and Hilary Last I fucken heard they had broken up. Money hungry bitch!
former mother inlaw of Vickie Nice she was mentioned, but I would have liked to see her mentioned with us girls.

This is why my family sucks.

Anyway everyone is flying over due to arrive of have just arrived for the tuesday funeral. wish me luck!

okay, so it is official. My computer at home is a piece of crap, well and truely.
I cant open my blogger account on my home pc, but can from phills. (so im stealling his computer!!!!)

Christmas is done and Im happy to say I'm glad that it isnt every day. I got some cute as shit. mostly "hello kitty". I got the HK toaster, that toasts an imprint of HK onto the toast; A HK alarm clock, that Im a lil disapointed cos it doesnt meaow when it buzzes from mumsie; a Drawing Room voucher from my ever thoughtfull man shaped pillow; Illicit voucher and Little Britan Live from sez; HK pencil set from teh Mel; chockkys from mums man; nanas yearly envelope- not a disapointing sum this time round, and a Debit card with Dads money. (like a pre paid visa).

One thing that blows is that Kass isnt here due to obvious reasons, jess has to work, and I missed seeing sue. I miss my friends, especially the Kassy. <3 to you!

Merry christmas Kassy poo!!!!! kittys and I miss the crap out of you! lover you long time bebe

to the rest of ya all, merry haapy season, and drink safe! :P

So, This is my first real post. Fun!
I am going through a little bit of a relapse, the depression thing reared its ugly head a few months ago (well more like since mid last year...). I have been finding this really hard. I'm not the kind of person that will go up to a friend or 'trusted' family member and ask for help, or say something is wrong until it is too late or I'm at breaking point. This time it was breaking point.

To set the scene a little better I will explain a few things. Stuff went down at work last year (kass you know about that) and it knocked my confidence back quite a bit. Cosmetics is a rather faulse and cut-throat industry, the term 'Faking it till you make it' springs to mind. So I was making friends at work with people who were always on the ready to stab you in the back if it meant they would get ahead of the pack. This was something that never sat well with me, mainly because I trust too easily, which is a bit of a curse as I keep putting my faith in the wrong people. So I got burnt at work. I moved flat and got burnt by an ass that was trying to molest a friend I invited into the house. I moved home and am currently trying to survive the phenomenom that is Mel.

Mel: The bane of my existance.
She wears me down. She has physically and mentally worn me out. She repeatedly keeps stealing my prized or required things, just to annoy me beyond belief. Mel is hard work. I can see she is going to end up being brought home in a police car sooner rather than later.

With a combination of all this stuff and the added pressure of quitting my job and moving to Dunedin to be with my boyfriend and not getting a job when I got there, has once again taken its toll on me. I ended up on my bed, crying out of pure fustration of not knowing what the fuck to do any more, and Mum coming in and asking me if she needed to take me in to see my doctor. A biiiig yep.

So Im now onto my third medication - escitalopram (hopefully the final) and Mum has said I now seem 'normal', whatever that is. I finally feel level again.
When I was on Aropax I was on a constant high, didn't give a shit about anything, was consumed totally in myself. I was really vauge and felt almost airy. Citalopram was different again. I did NOT want to leave the comfort of my bed, and found it really hard to even go and see my closest friends.I was very paranoid and uncomfortable in the world. Escitalopram is better. I can function. I still have the ability to get angry, and actually feel emotion without bursting into tears everytime I get tired/angry/fustrated/sad/etc. Im getting there finally.

To get some help I've enrolled in Lifeworks its a free couse to pretty much help me get my shit together finally.

*jumps into the shallow end and walks to the deeper end*

Ninjas?

I'm posting. Because I can. And Chrissie is offline. And I think its fun to post on someone elses blog, and nobody else know who it is (thought I'm sure most can guess?) It's fun and strange and yeah well whatever. I guess its sort of boring aswell, unless people were to read it and get all confused and then that would be funny. Yeah funny. I've had too much coffee today 8/ (no meat & vege!)

See those Ninjas, cute huh? I can't take the credit. They're Chrissie's. She's selling them on Trademe (auction is HERE). I'm getting some with the exchange of pixie sticks and goodies. If you want some, then email her. I'm sure you'll beable to think of something suitable to bribe her with :)